The fish is stinking up the place. .. . .

Hey Fellow Bloggers, 

I know sometimes I come up with random titles for these blogs... I find it awkward to name certain blogs, so I come up with something weird to express my feelings...so, if you like it well hey I will keep doing it and if not, sorry. 

Anyway, last night I hung out with a woman that lives like down the street from me LITERALLY and she is so eccentric! I love her! She reminds me of how I used to be before I made some interesting choices in my life and lost the certain capabilities for some years. It's slowly coming back to me of course. Anyway, you have no idea what I am talking about. I do and she does and that's what matters. Anyway, we sat and talked till almost midnight. We lost track of time because we were so in tune with each other and what we were talking about! I did NOT feel awkward at all around her. I felt pure peace being in her home with her and this was the FIRST time we actually talked and held a conversation. I learned so much about her in just a few hours. I hope we can hang out again soon. 

It's funny, since I have moved to Kentucky it's been hard to make friends. I have made some acquaintances in the beginning but they never evolved into friendships. This tells me that it probably wasn't mean to be...and I have been cool with it. I am pretty content by myself but I do get lonely. Anyway, I have been trying to make friends since being in the Radcliff ward and I have made some acquaintances and none of them are my age. They are older than I am and have grand kids. I count them as my angels. I have always been able to make friendships with the elderly since I was a child. I admire them and their advice and I tend to take their advice over someone younger than me because they have lived and been there. This isn't saying that I never take the advice of people my age; but, when it comes to huge life changing events for example, I tend to turn to Heavenly Father because well He is older than all of us and every time he has sent someone much older than I am to help me out. :) 
Well while I appreciate my older friends, I have been wanting a friend around my age to hang out with and I met Vanessa and even though it took us a while to hang out, she asked me over this week and I am so glad I took her up on that offer. She is not who I thought she was! This is a lesson learned not to place judgment on people before getting to know them. I wasn't trying to judge her in a negative way...it was more like I felt like she wasn't interested. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be her friend. Well, she is accepting and open minded. So for those of you that have been trying to get to know her...don't give up. The spirit didn't let me give up. I wanted too hang it up and move on but the Spirit was so pressing and I am glad I listened. Hopefully since we got to hang out yesterday and talk for hours...maybe this will be the beginning of a beautiful successful friendship. I can see that she is not one of those ditzy immature females that think the world revolves around them. She is a committed mother to her daughter Emma and she is also a committed wife which is PLUS PLUS infinity to her husband Danny. She has high standards like I do and I have been looking for that and have NOT been able to really find that very often. It's only been a few that I have been able to build strong friendships of trust and know that they are striving to be virtuous as much as I am. 

Unfortunately, In this generation a lot of women have no respect for their friends because they flirt and befriend their friend's spouse and something ends up happening and Vanessa DOES NOT strike me as that kind of person. So, we will see where this takes us. 
 By the way, Vanessa, thanks for getting me into HUGE trouble last night! I could have sworn that I was going to be GROUNDED for life! ;) :) HAHAHA. 

Anyway, there is a REASON why I named my blog title for this post like that, "The fish is stinking up the place"...well here it is, I have been seeking approval from a certain someone for almost two years and sometimes it's given to me and other times....it's not. Well, I talked with my sister today and she spruced me up with a plan. :D 
I have to focus on me. I have to make some goals and go out there and accomplish them! I have to help me feel GOOD about myself instead of depending on that certain someone to help me feel good about myself. So here are my three goals: 

1. Obtain my Driver's License by the end of July 2012. 

2. LOSE WEIGHT! Goal is to lose 30 POUNDS! I miss wearing size 7 jeans and It's time to shed the "I'm comfortable with marriage" weight. 

3. Finish my math! I have been putting that off for way too LONG! 

These are my three goals and by darn diggity I am going to accomplish them no matter how UNMOTIVATED I will feel! ***There may be some posts where I am discouraged...BUT I have to tell myself that this is a benefit for me! I need confidence and high self esteem more than anything.
I am tired of the fish (my low self image of myself) stinking up the place! It's not fun and it's degrading. It's time to put my foot down and run this place! 

I hope that Heavenly Father will continue to bless us in our endeavors and I hope that more than anything he will help mend a lot of broken relationships. I hope he will continue to have His hands in what's important. 

See you all on the flip side, 

A&G